the blind leading the blinder...

how bad of a parent do you have to be to have brit brit serve you with papers asking that you stay away from her children because she doesn't trust your parenting skills???

it appears we don't have to look any further than mommy dearest:


yes, that's right...brit brit served lynne with papers asking that she stay away from sean preston and jayden james. reportedly, lynnie "has cried her heart out over the trouble between her and britney," says a family pal. "lynne is brokenhearted...she wants her baby to be okay and to bring her grand kids home to kentwood and raise them in a normal environment."

right, 'cause clearly the "normal environment" that brit brit was brought up in kentwood has served her so well...

just admit you're white trash and get on with it already...

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

that's all i can really say about this:

jesus woman, let those suckers out to breathe a bit!!!

spice up your world!

yes...that's right...the spice girls are B.A.C.K.!!!

let us remind ourselves of what they used to look like at the height of their career:


ah yes, tight bods, quality weaves, minimal plastic surgery, hip clothing (well, for the 90s anyway)...they were UNTOUCHABLE.

here is what they look like now:


posh still looks like she's made of plastic (didn't she get sir mix a lot's memo that silicon parts are made for toys?)...scary is a bit worse for the wear after popping out all the little ones (but now that she has proven that eddie murphy is her baby's daddy maybe she can get some $ from him for a quality weave)...sporty finally looks polished but in a mannish sort of way...ginger is sporting some great hair but whats with the dress that looks like she pulled it off the discount rack at dress barn??? as for baby spice - she looks pretty damn good, but you gotta wonder what she's hiding behind that flag...

futbol vs. football

i stole this from juweeee...what??? i had to...they're too hot not to share them with the world.

kudos juweeee! the world thanks you:

top ten signs paris has found god

10. instead of pretending to read newspapers, now pretending to read the bible.

9. been exchanging text messages with pope benedict XVI.

8. new catchphrase? "that's holy!"

7. begins each day with a prayer to santa.

6. spent the last 10 hours trying to turn water into cosmopolitans.

5. vowed to give up all earthly possessions that are no longer in style.

4. changed chihuahua's name from tinkerbell to ezekiel.

3. now, only time she gets on her knees is to pray.

2. latest sex tape sponsored by the national council of churches.

1. often asks herself: "where would jesus shop?"

letters from lynwood

so paris has apparently gotten so bored in jail she is actually taking pen (or maybe she isn't allowed pens or other sharp objects - maybe its a crayon?) to paper and replying to fan mail.

behold! deeps thoughts with paris:

does anyone else notice that her handwriting looks like that of a 3rd grader? perhaps a serial killer? and why do i feel like she's sitting in her jail cell after using all of the makeup nicky could smuggle in via cupcakes singing 'i feel pretty, oh so pretty' looking like this:

whatcha talkin 'bout...chachi?

at a recent party at paramount studios in la '80s sitcom stars scott baio and gary coleman caught up as to what they have been doing after being a child star of that era. here is an example of the conversation that could have followed:


scott: so gary, whats been going on since we last saw you on diff'rent strokes?

gary: you know, the usual...i was in an episode of married...with children, martin, the fresh prince of bel-air and did some voice work for the the simpsons

scott: yeah, yeah...that's great and all...didn't i hear that you were working as a security guard?

gary: oh yeah...that...that was just to pay some bills and-

scott: didn't you also punch some chick who was trying to get an autograph from you? i mean, i know you were no chachi or charles...but that's not how to bag the ladies...

gary: in my defense, she had been hounding me and i felt threatened by-

scott: threatened? she was a bus driver asking for your autograph!

gary: hey - i was going through a hard time - you try being taken seriously as a security guard at 4' 8"!

scott: i never had to worry about any of that, i was always shagging some babe...did you know i broke off my engagement to pamela anderson twice? there are only a few...well maybe not so few...elite men who can fall into that category...hell, i dated half the cast of baywatch!

gary: yeah, well i was a nominated for governor of california in the 2003 recall...i came in 8th in a field of 135 candidates!

scott: yeah, but i'm going to be starring in my own reality show on vh1 titled 'scott baio is 45 ... and single!" during july 2007 (watch your local listings!)

gary: that may be true, but at least i don't look like some washed out red carpet reporter from e!

scott: yeah? you a security guard for the fashion police now? by the way - nice hat...


oh how the mighty have fallen.