top ten signs paris has found god

10. instead of pretending to read newspapers, now pretending to read the bible.

9. been exchanging text messages with pope benedict XVI.

8. new catchphrase? "that's holy!"

7. begins each day with a prayer to santa.

6. spent the last 10 hours trying to turn water into cosmopolitans.

5. vowed to give up all earthly possessions that are no longer in style.

4. changed chihuahua's name from tinkerbell to ezekiel.

3. now, only time she gets on her knees is to pray.

2. latest sex tape sponsored by the national council of churches.

1. often asks herself: "where would jesus shop?"