eat a candy bar...

i always wondered what a stick on crack in a cheap red bra would look like...

now i know.

have some r-e-s-p-e-c-t...

for your arteries!:

oh aretha, what the deuce happened?!?!?!

oh mags...

you have looked better my friend:

looks like someone was playing truth or dare with a time machine and lost...big time...

you know, they make a cream for that...

the one and only time i am convinced a celebrity didn't have botox:

she says she wants to start a family, due to her envy towards nicole, even though she doesn't have a boyfriend...thank god for clinical donations...although a 'donation' may be how this lip problem of hers started...

letting them air out...

you know all living mammals need oxygen to breathe...and i know posh's breasticles have been holding their breath for years...this is merely proof:

she can read?!?!?!

is that...no...it can't be...brit brit is carrying a barnes & noble bag?!?!?!:

i bet its full of pop-up books on how cheetos and frappuccino are made...

hello???

for those faithful readers i send out my deepest apologies for not updating in forever...i know many of you rely on these confessions of a shoe slut to make it through your otherwise hectic, over-scheduled, and sometimes boring days at work.

but the drought is over and my cup runeth over again...

i.am.back.