dumb laws

a great big thanks to mike for sending me this link. now i have something to do to kill time until lunch. for a preview, here is a list of dumb laws in massachusetts (my current residence) and texas (my home state):

massachusetts:

• it is illegal to give beer to hospital patients
• candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol
• shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings
• at a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches
• snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked
• an old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public
• taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts
• all men must carry a rifle to church on sunday
• hunting on sundays is prohibited
• it is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath
• a woman can not be on top in sexual activities
• no gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car
• tattooing and body piercing is illegal
• children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes
• tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder - take that ny!!!
• quakers and witches are banned
• bullets may not be used as currency
• massachusetts liquor stores can only open on sundays if they are in berkshire, essex, franklin, middlesex or worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the vermont or new hampshire borders
• alcoholic drink specials are illegal
• public boxing matches are outlawed

and now texas:

• one must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office
• it is illegal to sell one's eye
• a program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather
• when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone
• it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing
• up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos
• it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel
• it is illegal to milk another person's cow
• a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed
• homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense
• the entire encyclopedia britannica is banned in texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home

stars weaknesses...

so today on people.com they had celebrities' vices around the holidays when it comes to food. take a guess as to what these stars had to say:

• vanessa hudgens
  "i just love _______ and i can't give it up," the high school musical 2 star says. "i find myself eating it all the time, even when i don't want to be. it just appears in my mouth!"

hmmmmmmmmmm...i can only imagine what ms. hudgens has difficulty keeping out of her mouth...

• dana delaney
  wisteria lane's most secretive resident spills on her diet breaker. "i drink a lot of ______, i admit it," delaney says.

you can take several guesses at this one...pretty much anything would foot the bill given hollywood's growing dui list...

• carrie underwood
  the country singer admits to indulging during the holiday season. "expect carrie to put on a few pounds, because i will not deny myself ____________," she says.

putting on a few pounds???...wow - she might actually look like a normal woman then...

• heidi montag
  the hills star admits to a weakness for _______ when dining out with boyfriend spencer 'the original douche bag' pratt. "i just love those!" she says.

hmmmmmmm...another toughie...perhaps fake breasts??? fake personality??? fake smile??? fake anything???

festivus week at work...

so to those who don't know, i have to work this week. yes, every day (save for christmas)...same with next week with the exception of the 1st. needless to say, its been dead here...although given i work in a hospital, that may not be the best depiction...its been really ridiculously slow... so slow, that i have had the following thoughts since monday:

• i am so bored
• i should really file
• my officemate is out so i don't even have anyone to talk to...
• no.one.has.called.me.
• is it 5:00 pm yet?
• i love love love my new longchamp bag!
• i wonder how many games of text twist i can play in an hour???
• b.o.r.e.d.
• everyone at people.com, dlisted, go fug yourself, and perez hilton have the day off so i have no trash to read on celebrities...depressing...
• a sense of fulfillment: i filed!
• and now i'm bored again...
• if a girl wears sweats to work and no one is around to see her, did she really wear sweats???
• ugh...all that's left to eat in the kitchen are leftover candies from people's holidays...if your family didn't want to eat it, neither do i...
• my text twist high score is: 44080...not too shabby
• ooooooooooh...a phone call!!!...and its a telemarketer...BASTARDS!!!
• is it lunchtime yet?
• i wonder if i could read my book at my desk...
• so...many...sales...today...
• i bet my boss is having a bitchin' time on vacation right now...better than my last one...
• another phone call!...and its a wrong number...
• it has only recently come to my attention how much the baptist hospital looks like your typical hollywood insane asylum from the window in my office...
• i want to be home cuddling with mike
• i have way too many gift cards to know what to do with myself...that means shopping this weekend!
• is it the weekend yet?
• i should really clean my office
• i miss new episodes of the office...damn writers strike!!!
• mmmmmmmmm...john krasinski...
• i wish i could teach my cats how to do my job...then i could stay home all day and nap like them
• its only 10:49 am?!?!?!
• no one is here...no one is here...
• phone call!...no i don't know who is covering a specific nurse whom i never work with...
• must.keep.eyes.open.
• i am in physical pain when i'm this bored.
• i wish someone would come to my office so i could eat lunch with them
• why don't i work for a university life half of my friends/relatives so that i automatically get the 21st through the 1st off???
• these next four working days are never going to end...

a serious life matter!!!

a google chat about appetizer plates:

so mike and i are both super busy at work right now (lie)...so much in fact that i barely had enough time (lie) to check our wedding registries to see if anyone had bought anything...a small obsession of mine... one of the many items we have on one of them was a few sets of appetizer plates which, sadly, are no longer available. since that is the case, we were trying to figure out which ones we wanted to get instead.

me being the on-the-ball type of bride (but not quite a bridezilla - which i think trusty julie would attest to), i had already found a replacement...in addition to a few other serving items that would match the new appetizer plates. i sent mike the links, he reviewed, and agreed like a good husband-to-be should. i told him i'm glad he agreed since i had already made my mind up. his response:

mike: sooooo, basically you just wanted to nicely tell me that you had
already done it but wanted me to feel like my input is appreciated?

me: see...you are ready for marriage!!!

holiday card

this year, mike and i thought we might spice things up a bit for our holiday card and use a portrait of the two of us...

BEHOLD! our tidings of good cheer!:

wow...oh wow...

so i got home from volleyball last night to a text message from julie stating:

jamie lynn spears is preggers

now i know she expects me to run with this and blog-blog-blog away about it. however, given the sensitive nature of her current situation and her age, i feel as though i need to take the higher road and not say anything since there is already enough speculation out there as to what is going on in the spears' household.
























HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...just kidding...i would never let you guys down like that!!!

upon hearing this news, my mind had been in overdrive!!! a few of my thoughts:

• the only way this could possibly get any better is if kfed is the daddy...
• after hearing that the daddy is not kfed (a disappointment on my end) and that it is someone whom she met at church, i wondered what cult mrs. lynn spears has her going to that teaches the whole sex before marriage thing...
• i wonder if the daddy is the 60 year-old homeless bum running said cult???
• i then found out that the daddy is in fact her longtime boyfriend casey aldridge...who is 19...who apparently doesn't know to double glove that s*it...
• mrs. lynn spears' book on parenting has been delayed indefinitely...it's delayed, not cancelled stated a spokeswoman for thomas nelson, the publishing company who is set to release her book...which also publishes inspirational books and bibles...
• the comment "a rep for spears was not immediately available for comment" has become so ingrained in my head that i forgot brit brit had a younger sis and thought she was preggers again...which may also be true...
• 'white trash breeding more white trash' on the next jerry springer...
• you know charles darwin had it all wrong...the whole 'survival of the fittest' has taken a backseat to 'survival of the scantily clad sluts of lousiana'...
• lindsay lohan - congratulations on your 'get out of paparazzi free' card...
• jamie lynn, do the public a favor and wait until you're at least 20 and have two more buggers to enlist in welfare...
• brit brit reportedly had no idea and found out when everyone else in the general public did and was in shock...so much shock that she ate twice her weight in cheeto pie!!!
• do you hear that??? that is the sound of 'zoey 101', jamie lynn's show on nickelodeon's (one of their highest-rated), being cancelled and nickelodeon going belly-up...
• tmz broke this story...i need to send them a holiday card...

if it weren't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck at all...

so mike and i did in fact make the earlier flight last night which was one of the first to land last night at logan after it re-opened. since there was a severe lack of taxis, the security guard at the airport was trying to consolidate passengers going to multiple locations into one taxi to expedite travel. we were put into a cab with another couple going to brighton (which was somewhat on the way) and found out after pulling away from the taxi stand that the first group would pay what the meter showed and the second group would pay what the meter showed minus $2 when they arrived at their location. needless to say, this was not fair at all, but we couldn't do much of anything seeing that it was 1:00 am and we had already left logan.

the couple in brighton needed to get to the 1700 block of comm ave and gave the driver specific instructions as to how they would like to get there. we got on the pike heading that direction only to have to stop in the middle of the pike for the cab driver to get out of the cab and pull his windshield wipers off of his windshield since they had frozen and weren't working. this didn't help and we continued the drive in the active snow sans windshield wipers. of course, he thought this would be an opportune time to get on his cell and turn up the radio to increase our safety...

continuing on our way, mike and i noticed that we were going an awfully long way outside of the city to get into brighton (the male of the other couple has only lived here for 5 months and the female was visiting - both of whom made it known that they didn't really know the best way anywhere). mike piped up when we were on storrow drive down past harvard u. and were making our way back to brighton to double back to newton to drop us off. needless to say, we were about 8 minutes from our place (we got off storrow near new balance) and called the driver out on how he was really taking us for a ride. his defense was that all the streets in the city were closed (lie) and that he couldn't get into any of them from where we were (lie). meantime, the guy from the other couple took this opportunity to tell him that he was full of shit since he had used the t to get to logan to pick up his friend and that, while it was still snowing, the streets were perfectly clear and there had been plenty of drivers on the roads.

the four of us decided to tell the cabbie to pull over at the intersection of western ave. and market st. and we would take our chances on getting another cab from there. the driver pulled over and the meter said $26.80. the guys pulled their wallets out and were prepared to give him $13.40 each when the driver tells us that it is $26.80 each couple...which is crap (which we told him) but there wasn't anything we could do since he had our luggage in his trunk.

mike took the opportunity to chew the guy out and tell him he was full of horseshit while i was on the phone with the boston pd's taxi hotline lodging a complaint. finally we were able to get the bags after paying the cabbie when i decided that, with it now being 1:30 am and we were out in the middle of nowhere (so to speak) with no cabs or drivers other than plows, we would be best served to walk to the boston state police barracks located on the on-ramp from market st. to storrow drive. we did such and were greeted with 3 of the nicest troopers i have ever met (one of whom spent well over an hour trying every single cab company in the city - minus the one we had just taken - while the other two flagged down cabs during their patrol and sent them to the barracks to help us and the other couple out). mike and i tried calling our friend karen who we had been traveling with who lives by northeastern to see if she might be able to get there seeing as every single cab company was closed or, the few that were open, didn't have any cabs in the area; my brother who lives down the street from us, and mike's sister who lives in brighton to see if any of them could come get us. finally the trooper was able to get a cab company with a taxi dispatched to come pick up one of the couples (which would be there in 20 minutes...which turned into over an hour) so we let the other couple take the first cab (which mike helped him pay for since the guy had little $ left after the first cab) and waited for another one...and waited...and waited...and waited...

finally around 3:00 am another cab that had been flagged down by one of the troopers (mind you they had literally put out an apb for any taxis in the area to be flagged down and sent to the barracks for us) and we were on our way home.

we got home around 3:30 am and were nothing but elated to be back. we walked in dropped our bags and proceeded to go into our apartment in search of our cats and our bed (where you find one, you will find the other). when i turned on our bedroom light and walked in i immediately noticed that my jewelry box was open...then i noticed that my bureau drawers were open...when i walked around our bed i noticed that half of the contents of my bureau were scattered on the floor...then i turned and looked at mike's bureau and noticed that his drawers were open and had been rifled through. i immediately got my brother on the phone (again) and asked if he had, for any reason, gone into our bedroom (he had been coming once a day to feed our cats). he said no and it was then that mike and i noticed that our front door had clearly been kicked in since the chain from the door was hanging from the door and was no longer securing our apartment.

yes, that's right...after everything else last night we came home to find that our apartment had been broken into. nothing is noticeably missing (other than some cash mike was holding onto to pay back someone from brookline h.s. for the food stand they run during volleyball games), but we were instructed by the cop that showed up to take our statement not to touch anything in the event that one of the detectives would want to come out today to dust for prints (he didn't think that there was much of anything that they might be able to lift prints from).

needless to say, we didn't get into bed until well past 5:00 am and that was with half the lights on in the apartment since i was both exhausted and still spooked.

so now we're playing the waiting game to see what we have to do next...remind me never to go on vacation again...

a size 2?!?!?!

maybe she forgot the 1 in front of the 2???

ms. hewitt, i hate to break it to you, but you are not a size 2...and if you are, then you are about 3'7" tall...now don't get me wrong...i'm no size zero myself (at 5'11" i would be worried if i were)...and i am happy that you are perfectly content with your body (as you and every woman should be), but please don't try to convince us that, in this photo, you are a size 2...perhaps back when you were on party of 5 (and i was jealous of all the time you got to spend with scott wolf and matthew fox) you were a size 2...but no longer my sister from another mister...

what a difference six decades can make...

lauren bacall, i have the utmost respect for you...if i ever were to meet up with you in a dark alley, i would cower in fear...

especially if you were looking like a homeless meth addict...

brit brit is my age?!?!?!

brit brit celebrated her birthday over the weekend...she turned the big 2-6!!! vegas has 25-to-1 odds that she'll live to see 30...

given the first pic, i understand the need to wear her sunglasses inside...

eat a candy bar...

i always wondered what a stick on crack in a cheap red bra would look like...

now i know.

have some r-e-s-p-e-c-t...

for your arteries!:

oh aretha, what the deuce happened?!?!?!

oh mags...

you have looked better my friend:

looks like someone was playing truth or dare with a time machine and lost...big time...

you know, they make a cream for that...

the one and only time i am convinced a celebrity didn't have botox:

she says she wants to start a family, due to her envy towards nicole, even though she doesn't have a boyfriend...thank god for clinical donations...although a 'donation' may be how this lip problem of hers started...

letting them air out...

you know all living mammals need oxygen to breathe...and i know posh's breasticles have been holding their breath for years...this is merely proof:

she can read?!?!?!

is that...no...it can't be...brit brit is carrying a barnes & noble bag?!?!?!:

i bet its full of pop-up books on how cheetos and frappuccino are made...

hello???

for those faithful readers i send out my deepest apologies for not updating in forever...i know many of you rely on these confessions of a shoe slut to make it through your otherwise hectic, over-scheduled, and sometimes boring days at work.

but the drought is over and my cup runeth over again...

i.am.back.

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - 1-4

yes, i am aware that cyprus isn't technically a part of europe...but hey, its pretty close!!! i can't help if my fail-safe crazy germans haven't done anything too crazy in the past 24 hours...i'm working with nothing here people...

cypriot seeks to unravel curse with pants and egg
friday november 16, 3:22 am

nicosia (reuters) - having marital problems? have you tried putting egg in your underpants?

a woman in cyprus is on trial for sorcery after pledging to shake off a curse apparently plaguing a man's relationship with his wife and mother-in-law.

the suggested remedy consisted of an egg, a spoon, a nail, some pubic hairs and underpants, local media reported on friday.

"she cracked the egg into my underpants," the 37-year-old man told a district court in the capital nicosia.

the elderly woman wanted some 5,000 cyprus pounds (5,968 pounds) for her efforts, the man said, so he went to police.

sorcery is banned in cyprus though many people indulge in card readings and palmistry and read runes in coffee cups.

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - a baker's dozen - take 2

and now an article found by justin:

pasta panic strikes italy
the price of wheat is up 60% this year, and in italy they're taking to the streets over the cost of tortellini, writes fortune's peter gumbel.

(fortune magazine) -- something unusual is going on in the pasta section of the largest supermarket in parma, italy, these days. all the pasta is still there, stacked on both sides of a tennis-court-length aisle in the center of the store. the dizzying choice, too, is the same as in many italian supermarkets: dozens of shapes, sizes, and colors, ranging from banal penne and rigatoni to lumachine, shaped like tiny snail shells.

what's new are the big signs fluttering above the aisle and affixed to the partitions at the ipercoop market, a short drive from parma's city center. in capital letters, they declare, WE ARE NOT MOVING.

the movement in question has to do with the price of pasta, which has jumped about 20% this year for some varieties, touching off a nationwide protest. but the story behind the price hike is a global saga involving agricultural policies, commodity-market speculation, the growing use of ethanol as an alternative fuel, and Australian drought.

italian pasta producers have taken great pains to justify the increase by pointing to the soaring cost of wheat, which has increased by 60% over the past year. that's an excuse the conspiracy-crazed italians aren't buying.

"yes, the price of wheat has risen, but it has simply gone back to 1985 levels. so who's been profiting from low prices these past 20 years?" asks rosario trefiletti, president of the federconsumatori consumers' association in rome.

trefiletti's association, along with three others, has been so incensed by the price hikes - according to their calculations, spaghetti is up by an average of 27% this year - that they called a pasta strike in september. for one day consumers were urged not to buy pasta (although in a country that consumes more than five times as much pasta per head as the u.s., nobody said anything about not eating it).

"it was a huge success," trefiletti says. it has certainly brought results. the government, which knows a good populist issue when it sees one, began holding talks with producers, farmers, and consumer lobbyists, who are calling for tougher controls and price safeguards for food staples. "the government can't impose lower prices," says carlo pileri, who heads another consumer group, "but it can do moral suasion."

then came the regulators. on october 23rd, italy's antitrust agency announced it was launching a formal investigation to determine whether italian pasta producers have been engaging in illegal price fixing. the producers vehemently deny the charge, but they and italian retailers are clearly on the defensive. hence the big signs at the parma ipercoop promising not to raise prices on the store-brand pasta, at least until the end of the year.

for guido barilla, chairman of the eponymous $3.4 billion parma-based family company that is the world's largest pasta producer, this italian melodrama is missing the point. barilla raised prices 15% this year, and for him it's self-evident that higher wheat prices have to feed through to consumers at some point. pasta is a low-margin business, and flour is one of just two principal ingredients, along with water.

"wheat makes up 60% of the price," he says, pointing to a box of penne on a table. what irks him is not so much the public fuss in italy, which he dismisses with a shrug, but one of the reasons prices are rising in the first place: the growing use of agricultural crops to make ethanol and other alternative fuels. "agriculture for energy is an extremely stupid thing," barilla says. "it's very inefficient."

italians aren't alone in this struggle. rising bread and flour prices have sparked protests across drought-stricken morocco, where the wheat crop dropped by 76% this year. public disturbances have also been reported in yemen, niger, and the ivory coast.

and it's not just wheat that's soaring. milk prices are at record highs, and rice is up too. jacques diouf, the senegalese head of the un's rome-based food and agriculture organization (fao), spoke last month about the risk of upheaval across the developing world. "if you combine the increase of oil prices and the increase of food prices," he said, "then you have the elements of a very serious crisis in the future."

governments from cairo to dhaka are looking to head off that prospect by offsetting higher wheat costs however they can. in september the egyptian government jacked up its bread subsidies by 50%, to $2.5 billion.

in richer countries, too, the hikes are spurring authorities to action. in Japan, where the government is the sole importer of wheat, bread prices have gone up for the first time in two decades. russia, ukraine, and kazakhstan have imposed restrictions on their wheat exports to ensure that their domestic markets don't lose out in the rush by traders to make money abroad.
and in september the european union reversed a 20-year-old policy that required farmers to leave 10% of their land fallow. the aim of abandoning the so-called set-aside policy is to spur a quick boost in production of wheat, oats, and barley.

the big winners in all this, at least for now: american wheat farmers. production is up about 14%, while exports, aided by the weakening dollar, are expected to rise more than 25% this year. stocks are at their lowest level since the late 1940s. best of all, prices have jumped to an average yearly price of $249 a metric ton for hard red winter wheat, more than double what it was in 2000.

"the early-season pace of wheat export sales and shipments has been blistering," reports the usda's october wheat outlook. at the washington, d.c., trade group u.s. wheat associates, spokesman ateve mercer points out that "we were the only ones who had wheat to sell for a while this year."

the boom could be short-lived. fao wheat expert abdolreza abbassian warns that a flurry of production increases by farmers trying to take advantage of the price rises may soon make itself felt. "it could all lead to a short-term glut," he says. indeed, wheat futures have eased since peaking in late september.

wheat experts point to four factors that have combined to propel prices higher. the first and most significant is to be found in australia, one of the world's biggest wheat producers, where two harvests in a row have been ravaged by drought at a time crops in other big exporting nations, such as argentina and canada, have been less than stellar.

second, stocks of wheat are at the lowest since 1983, a consequence of changing agricultural policy in both the u.s. and the eu, which no longer encourage excess production or subsidize exports as much as they used to. commodity market speculation is also rife, as hedge funds and others bet heavily on rising prices created by worldwide demand.

and finally there's barilla's gripe: the growing use of crops for fuel. wheat isn't directly affected; in the u.s. it's mainly corn that is used for ethanol, while in europe soy is converted into biodiesel. but there is an indirect effect on wheat as farmers switch to more lucrative crops. that's a stance actively encouraged by the bush administration and the eu.

barilla thinks that's crazy. for one thing, it requires a huge and expensive use of water. it will require a big increase in the amount of food produced in the future. and he worries that the quality of the crops will drop. "this policy will have a tremendous effect," he frets. his skepticism is shared by the international monetary fund, which took the u.s. and european biofuel policies to task in a recently published report, arguing that they are "sustaining inefficient production patterns."

sitting in his taxi outside parma's ipercoop, white-haired andrea pattacino doesn't quite know whom to believe. he talks darkly about "speculators" driving up pasta prices and worries that it will hurt poor families. but he also points out that a few pennies on a bag of pasta that costs less than $1 a pound isn't going to break the bank. "we italians are masters of subterfuge," he says. "there's always speculation."

walk into carmela ugo's pasta and bakery store on garibaldi street in the center of town, near the 12th-century pink-marble baptistery, and she'll give you a completely different take. she took over the store 32 years ago and caters to a steady stream of regulars who come in to buy the prosciutto- and parmesan-filled cappelletti it takes her four days to make, or the less laborious parma specialties such as tortelli stuffed with herbs, pumpkin, or potato.

"we're trying to resist raising prices," she says. "the danger is that the more they go up, the less people buy. but so far they're still buying." she stops to serve a customer a slice of focaccia for lunch before getting on to her pet peeve, the pasta strike.

"it was one of those stupid Italian things. just blown up by the media," she says. "if you're going to strike, you need to stage one like we had in the 1970s. back then, pasta stores and bakeries closed down altogether for the day." she beams. "now that was a real strike."


now thats a spicy meatball!!! perhaps i should look into adding 'wheat expert' in addition to 'sexual adviser' to my resume...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - a baker's dozen

oh those zany germans again!

pedophile allowed to work in kindergarten
thursday november 15, 2007 10:09 am

berlin (reuters) - a convicted pedophile sentenced to do community service in a german kindergarten will return to court next week to face charges of abusing two children there, a regional prosecutor's office said thursday.

the man was allowed to work as a janitor at the evangelical kindergarten st petri in melle, near the northern city of osnabrueck, because a court worker missed three prior pedophilia convictions on his record, said alexander retemeyer, spokesman for the osnabrueck prosecutor's office.

the man, identified only as a.b., had been sentenced to 720 hours of community service earlier this year for working on the sly while collecting welfare payments.

"the colleague didn't pay attention and didn't see he had a sexual conviction, so she allowed him to serve in a kindergarten," retemeyer said. "she didn't read the file."

the prior convictions date from 1988-1990, when the man was living in the former east germany, retemeyer said. though the convictions are listed in the man's criminal record, the details are unclear because prosecutors cannot access his east german police file.

police arrested the man in april after the head of the kindergarten reported he had fondled himself in front of two children.

so what your saying is that if we built a wall in the middle of america, our records could potentially not follow us??? its too damn bad o.j. didn't kidnap and hold hostages at gunpoint in miami...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - one dozen

a 2-for-1 deal!

police arrest teenage online furniture thief
wednesday november 14, 2007 11:08 am

amsterdam (reuters) - dutch police have made their first arrest of an online thief -- a 17-year-old accused of stealing virtual furniture from rooms in the habbo hotel -- a popular teen-ager networking web site.

an amsterdam police spokeswoman confirmed a report that the teen-ager was accused of stealing 4,000 euros ($5,864) worth of virtual furniture by hacking into the accounts of other users.

four other 15-year-olds have also been questioned in the case, which was instigated by the web site. they are suspected of moving the stolen furniture into their own online hotel rooms.

habbo users can create their own characters, decorate their own rooms and play a number of games, paying with habbo credits, which they have to buy with real cash.

habbo hotel is owned by finnish internet company sulake which said last month it had reached 80 million registered users of its sites in 31 countries.
______________________________________________________________

swiss tell german guy to learn german
wednesday november 14, 2007 11:10 am

zurich (reuters) - a 70-year old german seeking swiss citizenship was told to go back to school to learn his own native tongue despite being proficient in german, a swiss newspaper said.

the swiss town of dielsdorf ordered ulrich kring -- who lived in switzerland his entire life but is only now applying for citizenship -- to take a german language course to the tune of 250 swiss francs ($222.6), the tages-anzeiger newspaper said.

the class was obligatory for all foreigners seeking a swiss passport and the town would not make an exception for the german national, the newspaper said.

kring had lodged an appeal against the decision with a higher local authority, but had not had a reply yet.

roughly two-thirds of switzerland's 7.5 million inhabitants are german speakers. many german nationals find the swiss spoken dialect hard to understand, although the official written language taught in schools is the same as in germany.

there is a hot debate about immigration in switzerland, where some 20 percent of the population are foreigners, and some newspapers have criticized the big influx of immigrants from neighboring germany.


at least now i know what happened to my virtual futon...damn thieves!!!

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - snake eyes

even erotic food has to follow the rules
tuesday november 13, 2007 9:58 am

oslo (reuters) - norway's largest erotic chain store was forced to change the labeling on products such as penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body painting, to comply with norwegian food regulations.

the norwegian food safety authority, whose goal it is to make sure consumers have healthy and safe food, conducted a surprise inspection at one of the chain's stores and found that several products violated food labeling regulations, top-selling tabloid vg reported on tuesday.

"we were a bit surprised to have the food safety authority on inspection. food is not really our core product," kjersti antonsen, a sexual adviser in the store, told vg.

products containing food must be marked with a norwegian label, listing all ingredients.

"we have panties, bras, handcuffs and suspender belts made out of candy," antonsen said, adding that the store will comply with the regulations and label all its food products.

the food safety authority also said the store also breached rules of importing erotic candy, which should be reported to authorities at least 24 hours before arrival.


i think i would like to be a sexual adviser - its just the boost my resume is looking for...but i may have to do something about the suspender belts made out of candy...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - dix

dammit! i forgot to blog yesterday...oh well, guess i'm out of the running...

regardless, the show must go on...unless you're a stage hand on broadway or a writer in hollywood.

it's official: you don't have to live in france

london (reuters) - ask most britons if they would rather live in france and they'd probably answer "oui." but british judges have ruled that two english boys who hate living there don't have to.

the boys, 11 and 16, who have a french mother and a british father, were taken to live in france after the parents' marriage broke down. but during a visit to england they asserted their "britishness" and refused to return to live with their mother.

the mother took the case to court, arguing that she had a right to decide where they should live and that the father had put the children up to it, the times newspaper reported.

but three of britain's most senior judges decided the boys had an inherent right to refuse to live in france, where nearly 300,000 britons have chosen to live.

describing the case as "not just exceptional but very exceptional," the chief judge said it was clear the children really disliked the country and hadn't settled in.

they preferred england because, apparently, they could "walk to school, could have their own key and would not have to do as much homework."

in his ruling the judge said he had "rarely, if ever, heard such strongly expressed views by children."

i would have moved to england too for less homework growing up, but some of us didn't have those options... when my parents divorce happened, i think i would have chosen to go live in bali, fiji, grand cayman...at least the location would have been AWESOME!!!

blog for the day:

drinking with the friends...

that is all.

d.b. of the week

daddy can't get you out of this one...even if he is the hulk...



this week's d.b. of the week is one nicholas bollea (a.k.a. nick hogan - son of world famous wrestler hulk hogan and brother of walking disaster brooke hogan). nick was FINALLY arrested wednesday morning for reckless driving involving serious bodily injury from an accident that took place in august.

no need to fret - he wasn't the one who was hurt (whew!). instead, he left his friend, 22-year-old john graziano iii, critically injured. john remains in the hospital, reportedly on life support.

how did it happen? investigators say nick was racing his toyota supra against a dodge viper, driven by another one of his friends, when he lost control and crashed into a tree.

in addition to reckless driving involving serious bodily injury, nick is also charged with:

• use of a motor vehicle in commission of a felony


• a person under the age of 21 operating a vehicle with a breath-alcohol level of .02 or higher


• illegal window tint

really...you thought your supra would beat a viper??? you're about as dumb as your sister...luckily the masses need not worry - you have wasted no time traveling the world while one of your best friends lies in a hospital hooked up to machines sustaining what little of his life is left...

beverly hills 90210..oh...oh...oh...

my god luke perry looks like a used car salesman:

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - neun

this is a 3-for-1 deal folks...and you have the citizens of berlin, germany to thank for it...it's like brit brit sucking down her frappuccino with a side of cookies and cheeto pie...
______________________________________________________________

man forgets car at gas station
friday november 9, 2007 8:08 am

berlin (reuters) - a german man forgot his car after filling it up at a petrol station, police said friday.

"he just forgot about it and walked off home," said a spokesman for police in the western city of wuppertal.

after the car had sat blocking the pump for about an hour, a woman working at the petrol station became suspicious and alerted authorities.

officers contacted the 63-year-old from remscheid, who came straight back to fetch the vehicle. he had paid to fill up the car before walking off.
______________________________________________________________

bank manager gives woman loans for sex
friday november 9, 2007 8:24 am

berlin (reuters) - a german bank manager gave loans to a woman for sex and then embezzled thousands of euros to buy the silence of her relatives, authorities said on thursday.

when the man realized he could not offer the jobless woman a loan because of her poor credit history, he offered to lend her the money personally in return for sexual favors, said a spokesman for a court in the southern town of tuebingen.

the 31-year-old then stole the money from the bank. the pair continued their arrangement for the next three years.

in total, the man diverted some 520,000 euros ($760,000) from clients' accounts, of which he gave about 70,000 euros to the woman, and kept 40,000 euros for himself.

the biggest chunk of the cash went to her relatives who were blackmailing the bank manager, a married man with children. the manager had himself told her cousin about the sex deal.

"as incredible as it sounds, that's what he told us," the tuebingen court spokesman said. "the cousin was suspicious and she called him to ask how the woman had got a loan."

the court said bank officials uncovered the ruse after probing irregularities linked to the man's handling of other loans. the court gave the man, who confessed, a jail sentence of three years and nine months.
______________________________________________________________

flasher strips off in court
friday november 9, 2007 8:35 am

berlin (reuters) - a german flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said thursday.

"the court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again," said a spokesman for the court in the western city of duisburg. "it appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art."

the 60-year-old was in court to appeal against his conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girl's soccer match and striking a range of "body builder poses," the spokesman said.

state prosecutors filed fresh charges of indecent behavior against the man after the court incident.

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - the ocho

berlin: what says christmas like a serial killer?

berlin (reuters) - a german advent calendar for children has become a hot seller since word got out it has a picture of a notorious serial killer on it.

the cartoon calendar shows fritz haarmann, who murdered 24 young men and boys in the 1920s, lurking under a tree with a hatchet next to the door for december 1. below him, santa claus hands out presents to children in a festive-looking hanover.

a local tourism office included the serial killer alongside 23 other celebrities in the northern city, including philosopher gottfried leibniz and hard rock band the scorpions.

haarmann's depiction featured in last year's edition, but this year it is attracting wider attention because top-selling newspaper bild questioned whether the use of the murderer in a children's calendar was in good taste.

"people are queuing up to buy the calendar now," said a surprised hans nolte, director of the city's tourism board.

nolte said he expected the initial 20,000 copy run of the calendar to sell out soon as orders were pouring in from berlin, vienna and other parts of austria. proceeds from the sales are going towards a local charity for children with cancer.

"it's part of our history," nolte said.

nonetheless, the serial killer, who was beheaded in 1925, will not appear in next year's edition, nolte said.

a part of your history, eh? so should we expect a hitler laden advent calendar to come out next year...or is half of your country still pretending that didn't happen?

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - 007

ich un berliner!!!

german steeple challenges leaning tower of pisa

november 7, 2007

berlin (reuters) - the guinness book of world records has ruled that a church steeple in germany, not the famous leaning tower of pisa, is the most tilted tower in the world.

the 25.7-metre steeple tilts at an angle of 5.07 degrees, while the tower of pisa tilts at just 3.97 degrees, said olaf kuchenbecker, head of guinness's german edition.

"when you lay photos of the two next to each other you can see it relatively clearly," kuchenbecker said.

the new record, scheduled to appear next autumn in the 2009 edition of the guinness book of world records, could strip the pisa tower of its iconic status, kuchenbecker said.

the 15th century german church tower stands in suurhusen, a small village near emden in northwestern germany. although its tilt angle is greater than pisa's tower, it has less than half the italian tower's height and none of its ornate beauty.

kuchenbecker will present the village with a certificate commemorating the record on thursday.

600 years standing and all i get is this lousy certificate?!?!?! aaaah man...

waiting to exhale

apparently now that jlo was outed by roberto cavalli (her designer for her tour) as to her conception status, she has freed herself of her inhibitions and has decided to proudly show off her baby bump with husband marc anthony:

however, she looks as though she's holding her breath which is what is making her ENTIRE head expand...seriously...this doesn't look like the jenny from the block that i know...

p.s. - marc...please button your shirt...mike's big toe has more hair on it than your chest.

on the sixth day of inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe, my true love gave to me...

a story about a giant plane...

rome, italy: ready to land

rome's leonardo da vinci international airport in fiumicino is ready to welcome the arrival of the new airbus 380 aircraft, the world's largest passenger jetliner, airport officials said. the new double-decker plane, which can carry as many as 853 passengers, made its commercial maiden voyage on a singapore airlines flight from singapore to sydney, australia.

"thanks to three parking places at our west satellite terminal for intercontinental flights and three other parking areas, as well as infrastructure services for passengers, fiumicino is the first italian airport ready to welcome the new giant of the skies," an airport official said.

known as the 'superjumbo', the a380 has a range of 15,200km, long enough to fly new york to hong kong non-stop, and has a cruising speed of some 900kph. singapore airlines reduced the plane's passenger capacity to 470 in order to offer top-price luxury suits. tickets for the maiden voyage were auctioned off for charity, with some passengers paying more than $100,000.

$100,000...that's about what brit brit spent on frappuccinos and cheetos alone in 2007...

rapunzel...rapunzel...get rid of that cheap a** weave!!!

ugh...i may not know a lot about the hair or hair piece industry, but this much i know:

• you are allowed, on occasion, to wash it
• you should have it changed regularly as your hair grows
• it should, under no circumstances, look like this

there are no words...

apparently in competition with his wife for attention, david beckham has decided to show more leg (and a bit more of everything else) while he plays...

secret white-bearded-gift-bearing-obese-male

so every year my siblings and i do secret santa for each other...we set a cap of $50, provide a wish list, and go from there. even better is that my brother found a website set up like an evite that will allow you to post a wish list and then randomly, and anonymously, assign you to someone.

seeing as one of my brother's and i are engaged (not to each other you sickos), and my sister has been in a long-term relationship and is now living with her bf we have decided to include our significant others...who all happen to be jewish.

mike, my fiancé, didn't know what to ask for since a lot of what he wants for the holidays is well over $50 (ipod, oakley sunglasses, gps device for the car, etc.). being the attentive woman i am, i reminded him that he has been saying he wants some power tools too and that maybe that would be a more appropriately priced gift. he agreed and went online to find the exact one he wanted.

so what did he choose??? drill bits...not the drill...drill bits...

my response when he told me this:

drill bits??? you asked for drill bits??? jeesh...lead a jew to the secret santa and welcome him to get a gift...leave him to his own devices to choose a gift and he asks for drill bits...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - V

whew...made it my first weekend without missing a post...

belgium near 5 months without government

by the associated press
published: november 5, 2007

brussels, belgium (ap) -- belgium heads for a record tuesday -- 149 days with no government -- unless the two winners of this year's elections suddenly resolve linguistic spats deadlocking their bid to form an alliance.

nearly five months after the vote, yves leterme, 47, the would-be christian democratic premier, has only a partial government program in hand.

the christian democrat and liberal parties are still in disagreement over three issues: the economy, more self-rule for dutch-speaking flanders and francophone wallonia, and the scope of a brussels-area voting district that a court declared illegal in 2003.

the latter two issues have been highly divisive in this nation of 6 million dutch-speakers and 4.5 million francophones, even leading to calls for an independent flanders.

leterme held one-on-one talks over the weekend with his would-be coalition partners but with no resolution.

there is no deadline for forming a government, but the deadlock could lead some politicians to break from the effort and force the king to appoint a different prime minister-designate for new negotiations.

angered by the slow pace of leterme's negotiations, flemish politicians plan to vote on wednesday in the parliament's home affairs commission to split up the brussels voting district. such a vote may cause francophone politicians to leave the leterme's talks altogether.

joelle milquet, head of the french-speaking christian democrats, warned that francophones would see such a vote by the flemish ''as an act of hostility'' and quit the government talks.
the previous record for belgium having no government was set in 1988, when the premier at the time, wilfried martens, needed 148 days to form a coalition.

belgium was transformed into a three-region federation in the 1980s, comprising flanders, wallonia and officially bilingual brussels, the belgian capital.

the problem with the bilingual voting district is that it extends beyond belgium's bilingual capital into part of dutch-speaking flanders. in 2003, the constitutional court said that was illegal, but belgian politicians have ignored the ruling for four years.

leterme has been appealing for national unity. his christian democrats and the liberals together won 81 seats in june 10 elections -- a comfortable majority in the 150-seat lower-house of parliament.

''it's time for government negotiators to assume their responsibility in the national interest,'' he said friday. ''it's time to stop mutual provocations.''

but agreement has been complicated also by flemish demands for more self-rule. francophone politicians argue that enough powers have devolved to flanders and wallonia in the last 25 years, and they accuse flanders of abusing its economic sway over poorer wallonia to seek the demise of belgium.

''we want to continue with reforming the state, but not if that means heading for a divorce,'' says didier reynders, the outgoing finance minister and head of the francophone liberals. ''they (dutch-speakers) need to make that clear at long last.''

while leterme continues his negotiations, the outgoing center-left government of prime minister guy verhofstadt continues in office in a caretaker capacity.

why don't they just do what we do when we can't officially declare a winner in a vote and have bush run belgium (into the ground) as well...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - take four

france: you are what your name says you are

by elisabeth vincentelli
published: november 4, 2007

in france, a person’s name can signify as little as a measure of what’s big on tv at any given time, or as much as an entire country’s nature.

the recent publication there of two annual guides charting the popularity of first names could only prompt more soul-searching in a nation already painfully struggling with how to define its character. the issue appears so urgent that president nicolas sarkozy felt the need to create a ministry of immigration and national identity, and the government has passed a law authorizing dna testing to establish family links among would-be immigrants.

the discussion of names is much lighter in tone. it turns out that names featuring “a” are hot for girls (clara, sarah, léa), as are “o” ones for boys (mathéo, enzo, hugo). scratch a bit deeper, and race and class quickly rear their heads. after all, names can provide an immediate indication of someone’s background in a country that does not include ethnicity in its national statistics, and where salaries are rarely discussed in public.

in a recent article pegged to the publication of one of the guides, joséphine besnard’s “index of first names in 2008,” the newspaper libération asked 15 people to talk about their own names, prompting a lively debate on its web site. a few readers commented on some french assumptions. “what of the new first names — binta, jamila, lin, ahmed, etc. — of an increasing number of french people?” wrote one commentator at the web site. “it would have been interesting to look into that issue and how society perceives people with those names, people who may be born here but whose parents almost certainly weren’t.”

but guy desplanques, a demographer, pointed out in 2002 that names like ahmed and jamila actually were on the wane, and that second-generation french men and women work toward integration by coming up with variations like yanis or rayan; the latter has become popular in some banlieues, evoking both the maghreb and the relatively widespread ryan.

ms. Besnard’s father was the sociologist philippe besnard, who did extensive work on first names, establishing that until the 1970s the popularity of names trickled down from the upper classes. for instance, “gilles” peaked in france’s high-society registry in 1942 and in the general population in 1960. that all changed in the 1980s, when the less wealthy and less educated turned into first-name innovators (perhaps caught up in fads spread by popular music and tv) while the rich rediscovered more traditional french-sounding names.

sociologists like mr. besnard observed that first names were often quick markers of social and educational status. as another libération reader, an elementary school teacher, pointed out: “i can often guess the ‘profile’ of a child thanks to the first name. a ‘maxime,’ a ‘louise,’ a ‘kevin,’ a ‘lolita.’ it’s sad, but that’s how it often works.” that is, maxime and louise probably have wealthy parents, while kevin and lolita are more likely to have a working- or lower-middle-class background.

indeed, bourgeois french parents are unlikely to give their children “anglo-saxon” names; jennifer was the most popular name for girls from 1984 to 1986, but it’s a safe bet few jennifers came from well-educated families. (the craze is commonly explained by the success of the tv series “hart to hart” in france at that time — jennifer hart was one of the title characters — while “beverly hills, 90210,” featuring a popular character named dylan mckay, is sometimes blamed for the explosion of dylans a few years later.)

this quick profiling can hamper those looking for a job: several studies have shown that all things being equal, applicants with “foreign”-sounding names are less likely to be hired. but that’s only one more hurdle to the work force’s integration: it is not rare in france to encounter job postings that request candidates to reveal their marital status and age, and to attach a photo to their résumés.

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - the third

the saying does go that everyone has a twin out there...

london: 'dead' man in uk turns up alive

by the associated press
published - saturday november 3

police said friday they had begun an investigation after a woman oversaw the cremation of a body she believed was her son — who turned up alive the next day.

greater manchester police said the mix-up began when the body of a man in his 30s was discovered in manchester, northwest england, on oct. 12. he was identified as thomas dennison, 39, by a care worker who knew him.

officials contacted dennison's mother, gina partington, 58, who identified the dead man as her son. the body was released to the family and the funeral took place tuesday.

the next day, dennison was discovered alive in nottingham, 80 miles away.

partington said the resemblance between the dead man and her son was remarkable.

"i held his hand and kissed his head. i stayed with him for about 40 minutes and would have sworn he was my son," she was quoted as saying by the manchester evening news.

"we held his funeral on tuesday this week at southern cemetery and there were genuine tears, because tommy is a lovely lad," she said.

police said the incident has been turn over to the independent police complaints commission.

police said they believed they knew the identity of the dead man, who had been living on the streets, and were trying to contact his relatives in ireland.

d.b. of the week

the d.b. of this week is one of the more despicable people on this planet and why there are still so many issues out there...

who could this individual possibly be???

duane chapman (a.k.a. dog the bounty hunter).

this d.b. was caught by his own son, tucker, when tucker secretly taped a conversation the two had about duane's gf who is balck. during the conversation, dog used a racial slur repeatedly in reference to the gf.

what did tucker do? he sold it to a tabloid for a lot of money.

apparently dog was worried about his son's girlfriend going public about his use of the n-word...what better way to avoid that media circus than to create one of his own!

dog later apologized to tucker and his gf, then learned about how the tape got into the tabloid's hands...in addition to this, a&e, who airs his series, has suspended production and is considering cancelling it altogether.

serves him right...

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - part deux

why you should always always always pay in cash when out with coworkers...

sweden: after kiss, a resignation

by reuters
published: november 2, 2007

prime minister fredrik reinfeldt’s battered administration received a fresh blow when a top aide resigned after it was disclosed that she had been out drinking while on duty. the aide, under secretary of state ulrica schenstrom, resigned after the swedish media published pictures of her embracing a journalist in a bar. her resignation was the fifth high-profile departure since mr. reinfeldt took office last year. he said ms. schenstrom had told him that she had not been drunk. but when he saw the bill for the evening, he lost confidence in her, “i now feel that the alcohol consumption, proved by facts, probably passed the limit that i can defend,” he said at a news conference. “this is one of my most difficult moments in politics.” ms. schenstrom issued a statement saying she had acted inappropriately and had lost the support necessary to do her job.

inane and slightly ridiculous news from europe - part 1

ireland: another metric system fault

by the associated press
published: november 1, 2007

when the police caught david clarke flying down a road in county donegal at 180 kilometers an hour last month, he looked likely to lose his license. but a local judge reduced the charge after concluding that the speed did not look as bad when converted into miles: 112 m.p.h. the judge suggested that it was relatively safe to have shattered the legal road limit at the time, citing good weather, light traffic and the road’s unusual straightness. he was quoted as saying the speed seemed “very excessive,” but did not look “as bad” when converted into miles per hour. mr. clarke, a dubliner, was clocked going 180 k.p.h. (112 m.p.h.) in a 100 k.p.h. (62 m.p.h.) zone. the judge reduced the charge, gave mr. clarke a fine and let him keep his license. the episode underscored ireland’s slow mental conversion to metric. ireland switched its speed limits from miles to kilometers in january 2005, but most cars still display speeds principally in miles.