dumb laws

a great big thanks to mike for sending me this link. now i have something to do to kill time until lunch. for a preview, here is a list of dumb laws in massachusetts (my current residence) and texas (my home state):

massachusetts:

• it is illegal to give beer to hospital patients
• candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol
• shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings
• at a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches
• snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked
• an old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public
• taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts
• all men must carry a rifle to church on sunday
• hunting on sundays is prohibited
• it is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath
• a woman can not be on top in sexual activities
• no gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car
• tattooing and body piercing is illegal
• children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes
• tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder - take that ny!!!
• quakers and witches are banned
• bullets may not be used as currency
• massachusetts liquor stores can only open on sundays if they are in berkshire, essex, franklin, middlesex or worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the vermont or new hampshire borders
• alcoholic drink specials are illegal
• public boxing matches are outlawed

and now texas:

• one must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office
• it is illegal to sell one's eye
• a program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather
• when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone
• it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing
• up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos
• it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel
• it is illegal to milk another person's cow
• a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed
• homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense
• the entire encyclopedia britannica is banned in texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home