heavy lifting

i imagine angelina's conversation with her son went something like this:

maddox, honey...mommy can't lift you anymore. you see, you exceed 10 lbs and since that is 1/4 of my total body weight i would have to have the strength of wonder woman to be able to lift you. besides, i'm too busy trying to find the next child i want to adopt with your daddy so that i can remain in all of the headlines since i'm not actually doing any work. you understand don't you love? we'll find you another friend to bring home as soon as possible so that i can fill my lonely heart with something else in place of the love i should have for your daddy, and you can have something to entertain you. don't worry darling, in no time you'll have a full brood of siblings from every corner of the earth since i refuse to become pregnant again and potentially gain 5 lbs. ok? that's my boy...